Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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