i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
