This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm jealous of your bromance
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
