Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
