Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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