**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
