That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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