he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's shark week go big or go home
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