I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
