A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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