mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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