All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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