What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
