isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
