Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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