i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
