i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
