k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
