I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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