you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
