In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize