Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
