Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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