so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
