I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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