I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
