Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
