That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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