i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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