I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
