I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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