He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
