I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
