You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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