I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize