Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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