420 ftw
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
