In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
