I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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