i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
be right there i have to get my cape
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
