I accidentally had phone sex last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i've created a new STD.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
