I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
