Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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