she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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