they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
