There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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