i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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