i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
