Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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