she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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