I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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