Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize