I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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