I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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