Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
