Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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