The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
