Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
