The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
