tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
