Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I touched a dick in church today
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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