I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
