I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Randomize
